Entry 23

The University of Sirius 4 is not far from the shores of Lake Ptolemy, where the first oxygen generator was built decades ago. The huge building stands along a peninsula near town, so it looms in the distance as you walk the beach for miles.

A few mornings after Buffalo challenged my reluctance to use lethal force against any human being – even someone with no compunction about using lethal force against me – I walked that beach and found myself overwhelmed by the beauty of the water, the orange mist hanging over the generator in the distance, the birds and other animals enjoying a warm, comfortable day.

I was filled with the simple joy of being alive and reflected on all the years I have lived so far, and all the years that could lie ahead – the thousands of days, countless experiences that shape a single man.

I imagined those countless experiences multiplied by billions of human beings on a half-dozen planets, each of them unique and irreplaceable.

Who am I to steal those years, all that life, from another?

No, I have no right to deprive anyone of that precious gift, not even someone who hates me so much they would steal it from me.

The author's note that grew into this entry

I wished Buffalo was with me so I could share the moment; maybe she would understand, standing on the shore with me feeling the breeze and seeing the life all around.

I missed her. I realized how important it had become that she understand. And that made me feel even more alive.

Entry 24. Hemlock's offer