I have been avoiding setting down my memories and thoughts about the central conflict of this whole narrative – the disillusionment and break with the best friend I ever had, Badiah Sinclair. With some trepidation, I acknowledge it’s time to stat writing those chapters.
One of my greatest sources of pride was watching my old chum lead Sirius 4 to independence. It always gave me chills (and made me laugh a little) to see the boy, who a decade earlier had skipped stones across Lake Ptolemy and earnestly debated the secrets of game codes with me, fanning the flames of liberty across a planet.
And the greatest horror of my life was watching what became of that promise.
Now I have sat at my station for 20 minutes trying to write about that horror. And I find I’m still not ready.
Let me for one more day savor the good memories ...
Entry 43. Long drive to the capital
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